“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Stephen Chbosky

Laura always believed she knew what love was. At first, he was affectionate, present, and said he had never loved anyone like that before. But over time, the compliments started to come with small criticisms. “You’re amazing, but you could be more like I want you to be.” The love that once felt safe now made her walk on a tightrope, always stepping on eggshells.

If you’ve ever felt something similar, maybe it’s time to take a closer look at your relationship. A toxic relationship doesn’t start with big explosions – it creeps in slowly, disguised as jokes, small manipulations that make you question your own perception. But how do you know if you’re in one?

1. Do you feel like you constantly have to justify yourself?

Have you ever felt afraid to share something simple, like a conversation with a friend, because you knew it would cause problems? If you need to carefully choose your words, explain every detail to avoid arguments or accusations, that’s not normal.

“Healthy love makes you feel free, not watched.” – Douglas Campanhol

If someone makes you feel like you have to justify yourself all the time, that’s a warning sign.

2. Are your emotions constantly invalidated?

“You’re overreacting.” “That’s all in your head.” “Stop being so dramatic.”

These phrases are common in toxic relationships. The partner downplays your feelings, making you doubt your emotions. This is called gaslighting – a form of manipulation where the person makes you question your reality.

If someone who claims to love you makes you feel “crazy” for expressing your emotions, they are not loving you the right way.

3. Do you feel like you’ve lost part of who you were?

Remember that energetic person you used to be, the dreams you had before this relationship? If, little by little, you’ve been changing just to avoid conflict and please your partner, to the point where you no longer recognize yourself, that’s a strong warning sign.

“If a relationship costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.” – Douglas Campanhol

True love never requires you to erase yourself.

4. Do you feel more anxious than happy?

Of course, no relationship is perfect all the time. But if, instead of bringing you joy, your relationship constantly makes you anxious, scared, and tense, something is wrong.

True love doesn’t make you walk on eggshells. It doesn’t make you feel like one day your partner loves you, and the next, they can destroy you with words. Love should not be a battlefield.

What to Do If You’re in This Situation?

Now that you recognize the signs, here comes the hardest part: taking action. I know it’s not easy. Maybe you love this person. Maybe you’re afraid of what comes next. But here’s the truth: you deserve more than a love that hurts you.

If you feel trapped in this relationship:
✔ Talk to someone you trust. A friend, a family member—someone who will listen without judging.
✔ If possible, seek professional help. Therapy can help you gain clarity.
✔ Set small boundaries. Little by little, reclaim your space and identity.

And most importantly: don’t ignore what your heart already knows.

“The greatest courage we can have is to walk away from what destroys us.” – Douglas Campanhol

Now, let me ask you: If a friend told you they were living exactly what you’re going through right now… what would you tell them?

Maybe it’s time to give yourself that same advice.